At the heart
of learning how to deal with depression, is learning to recognize those thinking
errors, distortions or automatic negative thoughts that ultimately lead to feeling
and behaving depressed. If you want to
become your own technician/counselor and effectively cope with and overcome
your depression, you need to become aware of the specific thoughts that are causing
your depression. Once you recognize your
automatic negative thoughts leading to your depression, you do have the power
to replace them with positive, productive thoughts that lead to happy, healthy emotional
states of mind.
One very
common automatic negative thought that leads to depression is called Mind
Reading. Mind Reading involves assuming
we know what others are thinking. For
example, if I pass my neighbor as we are both strolling through the neighborhood,
say “Hello!’ and he does not respond; I may think to myself that I have done something
wrong. Or what have I done to my
neighbor for him not to respond? Or what is wrong with me that my neighbor will
not say “Hello!” to me?
Many
depressed people Mind Read constantly; they attempt to know what others are thinking. And they nearly always assume the worst or
the most negative aspect regarding the situation. So their negative thoughts about what others
are thinking, leads to feelings of depression; which leads to depressed acts
such as isolation. And the depression
cycle begins or continues. How could the
above scenario been looked at differently to avoid negative thoughts that ultimately
lead to depression?
Scenario
|
Mind
Reading
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Healthy
Replacements
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I passed my neighbor walking through
the neighborhood, said “Hi!” but he did not respond.
|
“I knew it; I knew there was
something wrong with me!”
“See, no one likes me!”
“I must have done something
wrong!”
|
“Maybe there’s something
wrong with him and he just did not feel like socializing.”
“There are many people who
like me. Plus, I’ve never done
anything to him for him to dislike me.”
“I can’t think of
anything I’ve done to him. And if I
did, I know he would probably approach me”
“The next time I see
him, I will ask him how he’s doing. Maybe
he needs some support.”
“Maybe
he did not hear me.”
|
Now, it’s your turn. Are
you a Mind Reader? Think about your
current situation. Use the Stop and Go
method below to help you begin to think of situations when you Mind Read. Learn to recognize those situations and think
about them in a more positive or neutral situation. See, no one of us can actually read
minds. And when we do, we are usually wrong
and the thoughts we create are usually negative. So, we walk around with these wrong, negative
assumptions and dwell on them, and they lead to depression and other unwanted mental
states.
In order to learn how to deal with depression and ultimately
overcome depression, you must learn to recognize when you’re being a Mind
Reader, stop in that moment and compose positive, healthy thoughts. Don’t accept your automatic negative thoughts
to be true just because you had that thought. Learn to question your thoughts. Ask yourself what would an objective person
think; what would a judge and jury think; what are the facts to my thoughts;
are my thoughts valid; what can I do right now to validate my thoughts etc.?
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Don’t Move!!
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Stop
Take a Breath. Feel your breath move in and out of your body.
Remember to practice your mindful breathing exercises daily!
|
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Wait!
Not Yet.
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Observe. What
are you thinking? What is going on physically? What are you feeling? What are
your Surroundings?
Pull Back and Put in Perspective. Is it
out of my control? Is this a fact or just my perception? What would others
say or do? What are my thinking errors or distortions? Is this in my best
interest? What is the overall picture?
|
|
You’re
Ready!
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Go With and Practice What Works! Journal,
continue with your mindful breathing exercise, get out of bed, go to the
store, make that phone call, talk to that person, use your daily thought
changing tools etc. challenge your thoughts,
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